So Long Wiffle Waffle

I was recently in Upstate New York and spent quite a bit of time training for my upcoming 100-miler.

At one point, I spoke to my coach about a new and creeping sense of anxiety I felt, seemingly out of nowhere. The more we spoke, it became clear to my coach that my out-of-left-field anxiety was in response to an event that is just so big and so daunting. 

There are innumerable details to think about when training for a big race. There is also the mental aspect. You’re putting yourself out there and wondering what’s going to happen and if you’re going to flail. There is an unbelievable amount of pressure that you put on yourself, and I was basically becoming afraid of the upcoming experience. 

So, we started talking through it and she shared the mindset she adopted for her most recent race. She started to tell people exactly what she was going to do. No hemming, and no hedging. She was scheduled to be a guest on a podcast, and she decided that she was going to call her shot without hesitation, which she had never done before. She’s on the podcast and she says: "I'm going to win this ultra and I’m going to break the women’s record.” Just like that. She put it out there. And that’s exactly what she did. She did win the women’s race and she did break the women’s record. 

And she explained to me that she had never stated her goals out loud publicly and so definitively before. She believes there is power in calling your shot, putting a stake in the ground, however you want to define being clear and committed to your goals.

I'm not out to win any medals or break any records; I’m a committed mid-packer. But that experience of saying something publicly is powerful. It’s kind of like, okay now that you’ve said that this is your goal, what are you going to do to make it happen? After she shared her story, I thought, Okay, I'm doing this. I'm going to give this race everything I’ve got.

I'm not “kind of doing it” or “maybe doing it” or “I'll think about it” or “we'll see” — which are all phrases I’ve used. The “I'm not sure” and the “I don't know” and the “we'll see how it goes” are also on my top 10 list of equivocations. 

This time, I said (out loud) I’m going to do this race. Once you say those words, the struggle to figure out how to prioritize training disappears. The steps that are required for you to train for the race become part of your schedule and part of your life. You’re not squeezing them in around other things; other things get squeezed in around your training. 

You decide exactly what’s going to happen and have a plan. If you have to go to bed early and skip getting caught up with that show on Netflix that everyone is talking about, fine. If you have to tell a friend that you can't have a late dinner, fine. If you’re out to dinner and other people are having a glass of wine and you’re drinking seltzer with that little wedge of lime, fine. On Friday afternoon, instead of going and doing whatever, if you have to go to the running store to get gear, go to the grocery store to pick up your nutrition, and then spend time organizing everything, then fine.

You’re doing this. And these are the steps that have to be taken to do this well. It's a ton of time and there are a lot of details to take care of, but it's also your race and you’re prioritizing it. 

This time, my mindset is different. Last time, I missed more workouts. I didn’t prioritize my training as much as I should have. I was doing my runs, but I wasn't thinking about the race in the same way. 

This time, I’m trying to solve problems in advance and think about contingencies. Last time, it was a complete unknown, and this time it's not. I know the course. I know what to expect. I know the things that happened to me last time and I’m working to address them. I have a strategy and a mindset. And all of this, as my coach reminded me, can lessen anxiety and increase confidence. 

As I said to a friend the other day, this time: I’m doing this 100-miler.